What are YOU passionate about?
Remember when I said I had a fear of public speaking? Well, those days are long gone. Thanks to reading the first three principles from ‘The 7 Principles of Public Speaking’ I have been able to conquer this fear not only in theory but in practice.
In the past several months I’ve presented in front of audiences for the DC Small Business Development Center, the Washington DC Economic Partnership and the University of DC Community Collegeon the topics of branding, social media and resume writing. Each experience was fantastic and the feedback was extremely positive. I can’t believe I wasted so much time being afraid!
I’m on a roll now and I don’t want to stop!
Need a speaker to talk to your group about branding, social media or image consulting? Contact me today! I am officially a speaker for hire.
YOU are your brand. Represent!
Whenever someone asks to interview me I jump at the opportunity to share my point of view and advice. The opportunity to share and help others has always been the key to why I’ve made certain professional decisions. Recently, writer Kimberly Shorter reached out to me for a piece she was writing on personal reinvention. People reinvent themselves for different reasons including job loss, weight loss, personal tragedy or just because they desire or need a change. I’ve decided to share Kimberly’s questions and my responses here. It’s a bit long so I’ll break it up into a couple of posts.
Q: What does “reinventing oneself” mean to you? How would you define it?A: There are several ways to reinvent yourself from something as simple as changing your hairstyle to something more complicated such as making a career or lifestyle change. At it’s core, I would define reinventing oneself as making a change (internal and/or external) that has an impact on how you live or feel.
Q: Is reinventing yourself something that we all should do at some point in our personal or professional lives?
A: Yes. We should all aspire to evolve in our personal and professional lives. Sometimes a reinvention is precipitated by a circumstance such as job loss or loss of a loved one (through death or divorce) but that doesn’t have to be the case. We can make the decision to reinvent ourselves because we desire a change in how we look, in our career field or in how we think and present ourselves to the world. As the saying goes, change is good. Just make sure the changes you make are for your own good.
Q: What do you think are some critical situations that would necessitate someone having to reinvent herself?
A: Situations that may cause a woman to want or need to reinvent herself include job loss, divorce, death of a loved one, career change, weight loss or empty nest syndrome. Additionally, if someone is making internal changes via self-help or therapy, she may want to reinvent herself to match her newly found self-esteem/self-confidence/self-awareness.
Q: What are some basic steps you would recommend to someone who seeks to reinvent herself after a crisis, a failure, etc?
A: After a crisis I think the most important step is to acknowledge your feelings and allow yourself space in which to feel them. As you’re dealing with the fallout, if you deem some type of reinvention to be necessary, make a list of what changes you want to make, how you will accomplish them and what you hope the outcomes will be. For example, if you determine you want a new wardrobe, determine how you will accomplish it (shopping, swapping with friends, etc.,) set your budget, make a timetable and, most importantly, think about why you want the new wardrobe and what you hope to accomplish by getting it. Do you need clothes that fit better because you’ve lost weight? Do you need more professional clothes for interviews? Do you need to break out of a style rut? Don’t just run out and spend a bunch of money - have a plan.
Q: How can social media help (or harm) someone’s plans to reinvent herself?
A: Social media can be especially helpful for someone seeking to find a job, change career fields or to establish themselves as an “expert” in a particular field. I believe in transparency and authenticity above all else so I would never suggest that someone be someone other than themselves or that they create an online persona. In certain circumstances however, it could be helpful to create separate accounts focused on connecting with your desired audience. -Part 2 Coming Soon!-
Have you ever reinvented yourself? Do you want to? Share your story with me!
“I’ve had unbelievable male mentors, but my relationships with women have been game changers. There’s no agenda except our well-being.”
- Mellody Hobson, President, Ariel Investments
“I have never worked a day in my life without selling. If I believe in something, I sell it, and I sell it hard.”
-Estée Lauder - Businesswoman, Co-Founder, Estée Lauder Companies
The theme of self-trust has been hitting me over the head lately. Perhaps the universe is trying to tell me something. Something I can share with you.
Last night I had a conversation with a young lady whom I’ve known for a while via Twitter but had never met face to face until then. It was great to finally put a face to an avi. :) We talked about a variety of topics but of course, being who we are, at some point the conversation turned to social media.
She’s been running a successful Twitter chat for a few years and we were discussing how she can use that platform to catapult her brand into other arenas. For every “but I can’t…” she gave I came back at her with a reason why she could. For every doubt she had I came back with a way to overcome it. The conversation was both personal and professional but this lack of understanding or rather believing that she was indeed not only capable but the right person to put her ideas into motion was a recurring theme. She just didn’t trust herself enough because of the messages she was telling herself. The crazy thing is, the messages she was giving herself - the same ones I was shooting down left and right - are the same messages I give myself. Every day.
Fast forward to this afternoon. I decided to tune in to the online radio show, ‘The Big Idea with Coach Hayya Lee.’ The topic was ‘8 Keys to Success in Business and Life.’ Key number five was…wait for it…trust yourself. My mind went immediately to the conversation I had last night (there were three of us total) and how negative self-talk and lack of self trust were recurrent themes. Hayya talked about how not trusting in yourself in your personal life translates to your business. She said people can sense your feelings and will thus have less confidence in you, no matter how capable you actually are. I felt like she was speaking directly to me! The crazy thing is, I can prop up, support, motivate and promote other people til the cows come home, leave and come back again. I’m good at it. It comes naturally to me and I love doing it. When it comes to doing the same for myself, I fall short. Way short. It may seem crazy to admit that on my business site but I’m just keeping it real. I’m a huge fan of authenticity.
I’ve always believed the issue was not that I doubt my skills and capabilities but rather that tooting my own horn, as they say, has never been my thing. Still, this theme of “trust yourself” has been showing up over and over- both personally and professionally- so I’m thinking there’s a message I’m supposed to get. I’m seeing how, as Hayya mentioned, so many other actions, or lack thereof, can stem from not trusting in yourself. Not just trusting yourself on the surface, but deep, DEEP down and in multiple areas.
So now I have to ask myself the hard questions. Do I trust myself? If I don’t trust myself, how can I expect anyone, potential clients, YOU to trust me? How should trusting myself manifest in a business sense so others can see it?
Now I have to ask YOU the hard questions. Do you trust yourself? How does your self-trust or lack thereof manifest itself in your business life? Let’s discuss.
Last week I posted the first part of my Q&A with Kimberly Shorter involving self-reinvention. As promised, here is Part 2.
Q: Where can we find inspiration or reinforcements to help us in our quest to reinvent ourselves?
A: One of my favorite resources is happyblackwoman.com. It’s run by Rosetta Thurman who draws from personal experience as well as her experience as a coach to provide helpful information on topics ranging from dating to having a side hustle. She also created the ‘31 Days to Reset Your Life Challenge’ which has been tremendously popular.
Q: What are some good examples of public figures (celebs, politicians, etc.) who succeeded at reinventing themselves?
A: Someone who immediately comes to mind is Tina Turner. We all know the story of how she went from being the abused better half of Ike & Tina Turner to being an acclaimed star in her own right by escaping from Ike, focusing on self, turning to Buddhism and reigniting her career.
Q: Do you have any client experiences that you can offer as an example? (I understand the client confidentiality that you abide by, so if you choose not to answer this one, I totally understand.)
A: Being an image consultant, clients usually come to me because they’re in a style rut i.e. they need a makeup and/or wardrobe update. Sometimes they don’t even realize the rippling effects that the update will have on their lives until after the fact. I receive follow-up emails re: the compliments they’ve received or how excited they are now when they’re getting dressed or shopping because I’ve what I’ve taught them. I wrote a post on RasberryConsulting.com about what I call ‘the psychology of personal styling.’ Just when you think it’s just about a new look, it’s about so much more. I help people make not just external changes, but internal ones as well.
I really appreciate having the opportunity to discuss the topic of self-reinvention with Kimberly. Based on some of the conversations I see on Twitter, quite a few people are dealing with it in one way or another. If you have questions about reinventing yourself personally or professionally, please feel free to contact me.
Tim Ferriss on How to Start Your Million Dollar Side Business.
The ‘4-Hour Work Week’ is one of my favorite books so whenever I see Tim Ferriss talking about something, I take an interest.
“In the first Build-A-Business mentor lesson, author of ‘The 4-Hour Work Week“‘explains the “muse” and how to find yours.” - Fast Company
In case you were wondering…